Wednesday, May 14, 2008

America's Next Top Fraud

Tyra, take it back. We all know your fingers were crossed, as well as the fingers of every other judge on the panel for this cycle of America's Next Top Model, when you chose Whitney as this cycle's winner ("season" is so blasé).

Up until the last three episodes every judge save Tyra herself blasted Whitney for coming across as "fake", not only in photos, but in pretty much everything. They never had much positive to say at all. She never heard her name called first, only won one challenge and basically skated through the season on virtue of being a "normal" sized American girl (yeah, I'll go there - we're a big fat country).

Every guest judge tanked her performance. Her photos ranged consistently from bad to "catalog", her on-air work was forced and everything was chest out, ass out, same open-mouthed pout - for every single frame of every single shoot. The judges said all season that Whitney acted like she was in a pageant, and it was true.

Anya, on the other hand, could barely speak, but took great photos, improved throughout the competition until she was winning challenges regularly, was selected first several times and had the approval of many of the guest judges. In short, she beat the hell out of Whitney, as did several of the other girls who went home prior. Claire, Katarzyna, even Lauren who's shoulders were under constant threat of collapse, hell, even Dominique, the elderly drag queen, did better than Whitney...err...maybe those two tied.

So how did she win? Whitney was done, bottom two like four times, no redeeming qualities and should have gone home several episodes ago, so how did she win. Only answer I can offer is that this show was hijacked and scripted at the end.

In my mind, you started seeing the PR engine kicking into gear towards the end of the season. At some point they decided the plus-size girl was going to win come hell or high water, they just had to spin it the right way. All the credit to the judges in the final episode (of spin), but the acting was still pretty crap and pretty transparent.

Miss Jay, Whitney's catwalk was a train wreck and you damn well know it. You can't fucking call yourself a runway coach and applaud a train wreck. I don't care how much the producers pay you. Paulina, caustic was your thing this season, where was that in the final episode? Nigel, you know you'd rather shoot Anya any day. Tyra, you're putting on weight, so I guess I can understand your motives...

Y'all rolled an absolute gutter ball. If America's Next Top Model is to be a real competition, where winning actually means something, then the winner can't be scripted midway through the season.

Whitney, no offense, but several of the girls who were sent home did beat you.

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