Saturday, December 20, 2008

I Wear Your - a $66,000 Idea

This guy had this idea to sell days wearing sponsored shirts for 2009. January 1st would be a buck, January 2nd $2.00 on through December 31st for a whopping $365.00. This idea is ridiculous, silly, even absurd, but it stands to net this guy a bit over $66,000.00!

For wearing shirts!

T-shirts, hoodies, sweatshirts, polos, whatever - shirts!

It's currently December of '08 and he's already sold out nearly half the year! There's only 1 day left for sale in the month of May and spots sold in June...

Not bad for a silly idea -

Tell you what, I'll wear your gloves. For $66,000 I will wear your gloves exclusively (that means I won't wear anybody elses goloves), on cold days, for all of 2009. Put your logo on them things, embroider a slogan on those bad boys and I'll wear 'em. I'll even talk about your gloves right here on this blog. Heck, I'll post pictures of your gloves on my hands while I do Penis Heroic stuff.

Now go get your checkbook.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Strippers For Firefox!

As endless campaigners for all that is right in the world, the fine folks at have launched a new group at devoted to educating female strippers about the benefits of the Firefox web browser to their marketing efforts.

Strippers use social networking sites to build their fan bases. Sites like Myspace, Facebook and Xpeeps can offer a fountain of exposure for the savvy stripper, but most of these sites blow chunks in Internet Explorer. IE actually slows down the marketing efforts of hard working strippers. It is for this reason that we feel that strippers should give Firefox a try and join our campaign today (sorry, no guys)!

10 minutes in and they've already deleted our group. Sorry strippers, looks like the fine folks at Firefox would rather you stuck with IE...

Click to Enlarge

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Anti Palin T-Shirt

Red, white and blue and made in the USA - now that's patriotic!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

T Mobile, You Suck

T Mobile's collections practices are, in my opinion, apalling!

Last night I received an automated call from T Mobile that said essentially "If this is John Doe, press 1..." Knowing that their machine would keep dialing until someone answered I pressed 1. Apparently John owes T Mobile $900.00.

I am not John.

My first name isn't John, nor is my last name Doe, but let's say for the sake of this blog that my name was Seth Doe. Same last name, but totally different person.

When the agent got on the line I told her that my name was not John Doe, that no John Doe lived at the number and that I had never met a John Doe, nor did I have a T Mobile account.

She first tried to tell me that John must have lived at my number in the past. I said no, it's been my number for nearly 6 years.

She then tried to say John listed me as a contact. I said no, there is no John in my family.

She went down a few other paths trying to make it out to be an honest mistake that T Mobile collections had made, and they were going by information John had submitted with his account, but let me tell you what really happened.

My wife, let's call her Suzy Q Doe, signed up with T Mobile about six weeks prior to their automated call. Because she shared the same last name as some guy named John on T Mobile's collections list, T Mobile decided to add our home phone number to their queue for harrasment.

That's not an honest mistake, that's harrassing good customers for the sake of collecting from bad customers.

T Mobile, you suck!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Blogging for Dollars

Ever wanted to get paid to blog? So why don't you?

Penis Hero is just for fun, and in no way commercially viable as a publication. It's just fun to rant and ramble every now and then, but I do make some cash as a bi-product. You can too.

Everybody knows about Google Adsense, especially on Blogger, but there are more options out there, and you don't have to flog some junk ebook either.

When I wanted to blog about sexy halloween costumes I found product links on (an affiliate marketing network) for many of the costumes I was writing about. People out on the web looking for sexy Halloween costumes found my post and the pictures of sexy Halloween costumes and believe it or not, I sold some costumes and earned some dough for having fun writing a blog entry. That post was last year and I'm still getting traffic on it. Fingers crossed for 2009...

That thing on the right that you've been staring at, the thing with the chicks scrolling back and forth flashing a little skin. That thing gets clicked all the time and those clicks make me money, not a lot, but it adds up. Is it tacky? Maybe, but both men and women are clicking and joining to meet like minded adults, so I can't complain. Besides, the blog is called "Penis Hero", do I really care about tacky?

If like me, you don't mind hot chicks scrolling around your blog, and your traffic may be a good fit, join the program HERE and grab a banner to add to your blog. Or just copy the source code and post my banner, I don't mind...

This is a fun site, but some of my better sites actually generate inqueries from advertisers wanting to buy ad space, paid in advance. Again, it's not a fortune, but I'll happily pocket a few hundred bucks for posting a link or two.

Anyhoo, just a little bored checking commission reports, so decided to post something. Not much of a post, but there you go.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

America's Next Top Fraud

Tyra, take it back. We all know your fingers were crossed, as well as the fingers of every other judge on the panel for this cycle of America's Next Top Model, when you chose Whitney as this cycle's winner ("season" is so blasé).

Up until the last three episodes every judge save Tyra herself blasted Whitney for coming across as "fake", not only in photos, but in pretty much everything. They never had much positive to say at all. She never heard her name called first, only won one challenge and basically skated through the season on virtue of being a "normal" sized American girl (yeah, I'll go there - we're a big fat country).

Every guest judge tanked her performance. Her photos ranged consistently from bad to "catalog", her on-air work was forced and everything was chest out, ass out, same open-mouthed pout - for every single frame of every single shoot. The judges said all season that Whitney acted like she was in a pageant, and it was true.

Anya, on the other hand, could barely speak, but took great photos, improved throughout the competition until she was winning challenges regularly, was selected first several times and had the approval of many of the guest judges. In short, she beat the hell out of Whitney, as did several of the other girls who went home prior. Claire, Katarzyna, even Lauren who's shoulders were under constant threat of collapse, hell, even Dominique, the elderly drag queen, did better than Whitney...err...maybe those two tied.

So how did she win? Whitney was done, bottom two like four times, no redeeming qualities and should have gone home several episodes ago, so how did she win. Only answer I can offer is that this show was hijacked and scripted at the end.

In my mind, you started seeing the PR engine kicking into gear towards the end of the season. At some point they decided the plus-size girl was going to win come hell or high water, they just had to spin it the right way. All the credit to the judges in the final episode (of spin), but the acting was still pretty crap and pretty transparent.

Miss Jay, Whitney's catwalk was a train wreck and you damn well know it. You can't fucking call yourself a runway coach and applaud a train wreck. I don't care how much the producers pay you. Paulina, caustic was your thing this season, where was that in the final episode? Nigel, you know you'd rather shoot Anya any day. Tyra, you're putting on weight, so I guess I can understand your motives...

Y'all rolled an absolute gutter ball. If America's Next Top Model is to be a real competition, where winning actually means something, then the winner can't be scripted midway through the season.

Whitney, no offense, but several of the girls who were sent home did beat you.